Jacob & Joshua Ashton's Obituary
How can a few lines of text adequately define a person’s life? How can the impact a person has on the lives of those around him be measured in print? Our twin sons Jacob and Joshua left this life at the tender age of 15 months and 13 days. And yet, in that tragically short time they brought unimaginable joy into the lives of those who knew them and immeasurable light into our family.
The youngest of five beautiful children, Jacob and Joshua seemed to be our family’s focal point. Having twins is a challenge. There rarely seems to be enough helping hands to go around. One or both of the twins always seemed to need mom or dad. And so their two oldest sisters, Kästlee and Madalynn, frequently helped out, changing diapers (and there were so many diapers), preparing bottles, helping out around the house, and playing with the twins. Joseph, their 3 yr-old brother, was always on hand, waiting in the wings for that moment when the twins would be old enough to wrestle, play cars, and watch Blue’s Clues with him. Over the last few months, the twins had made several developmental leaps and Joseph was finally discovering them to be the playmates he had waited so long for.
Having the twins brought our family closer together. But it wasn’t just inside our family. Our lives were enriched in so many different ways because of our beautiful sons. We discovered the Fredericksburg Mothers of Multiples group and over the last year have developed many wonderful friendships. Our friends seemed to become closer as they shared in our joy as the boys developed. Our extended family, our neighbors, even strangers we would meet…having 5 children--having twins--seems to draw out the best in people; to draw out those things that represent the best in humanity.
For themselves, Jacob and Joshua were so full of light and life. Born one minute apart on July 12th, 2006 on our 10th wedding anniversary, they were a unique and priceless gift. And from the moment they arrived in this world they were a fundamental part of our family. As they lay under the warming lights in the moments after their birth, announcing their arrival with wails of displeasure at this new world, I placed my fingers into their tiny, grasping fists, Jacob on my right and Joshua on my left, and felt the overwhelming love that a parent feels for their children.
Over the months they developed into happy, beautiful, sweet boys. Joshua developed more quickly and was larger, learning to sit, crawl, and walk first. His beautiful smile would light up his face, the room, the hearts of everyone who saw it. With each new development he seemed so proud of himself. Learning to walk was a particular victory for Josh and as he would toddle from his mother to his father to his sisters (and occasionally even his big brother) and he would giggle with glee at his success and the praise we rained down on him. He was also particularly fond of wrestling with Joseph and bouncing on his daddy’s stomach.
Jacob was more leisurely in his development choosing to have others do things for him. When he finally became mobile, instead of crawling he would butt-scoot around the playroom in the most adorable way. Jake was always smiling, refused to give up nursing until last weekend, and instead of a pacifier would snuggle his blanket and suck on the tassels when he was in need of comfort or when going to sleep. Jacob took his first voluntary steps on the 23rd of October. When I arrived home from work that Tuesday evening he immediately stood up and toddled toward me with a look of immense pride on his face.
Together they were such a pair. With the exception of a few brief hours, Jakey and Joshy were never apart. They slept together, ate together, played together, fought together. No matter how many toys we gave them, each of the boys always wanted what the other had. One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen is Jake sneaking up behind Josh, swiping the ball Josh was playing with, then butt-scooting like gangbusters away with his prize as Joshua loudly proclaimed his displeasure. A favorite activity of theirs was to crawl into a play tent we purchased for them, lean together against one side, and rock back and forth until it fell over. Oh, how they would giggle and laugh.
Their favorite activity, individually or together, was splashing in the water. In the shower, in the tub, in the pool, on the beach and even in the toilet they would kick their little legs and splash the water with their hands, bubbling with laughter the whole time. Bathing in the soaker tub in our bathroom, they learned over the months to turn on the water by themselves and would laugh at us mischievously as they did so.
There were so many experiences, so many things that made the twins uniquely Jacob and Joshua, that we can’t even begin to include here. So many things that made them so adorable and loveable and perfect. But mostly they brought love and peace and happiness into our home and into our lives while they were with us and their deaths are more tragic to us than words, more than language, more than any form of communication can express.
And yet, even in death, Jacob and Joshua have brought us closer together. Family, friends, neighbors--even people we don’t know--have called, written, sent flowers, brought food, come by the house…there has been an unbelievable outpouring of love and support. Old animosities have been forgotten, political and ideological differences have become irrelevant, and vast distances have been traveled. Family and friends have arrived from across the country and around the globe. A seemingly unending stream of people have come by to lend their support and we have never felt so much love. In our overwhelming grief we have tried to express our gratitude to each of you but know that there are so many whom we have missed. Losing our beautiful boys has been the most difficult and painful experience of our lives and yet the outpouring of love and support has buoyed us up and made this indescribable loss just a tiny bit easier to endure.
On October 24, 2007 Jacob and Joshua used their combined ingenuity to make their way past security gates and closed doors to the tub they loved to bathe in so much. They never regained consciousness and finally passed away in the early morning hours of Thursday, October 25th, 2007.
We love them eternally, miss them horribly, and wish them Godspeed into the loving arms that await them.
The viewing will be held on Monday, October 29, 2007 from 7 to 8:30 pm. The funeral will be held on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 at 12:00 pm. Both will be held at the LDS church at 161 Eustace Rd, Stafford , VA 22554. Interment will immediately follow the funeral and will occur at Stafford Memorial ParkStafford Memorial Park Cemetery located at 154 Shelton Shop Rd, Stafford, VA 22554.
The Jacob and Joshua Ashton Memorial Fund has been established to assist in the expenses incurred following this tragedy. Donations can be made to the fund at any Bank of America branch or online via paypal using the email address [email protected].
What’s your fondest memory of Jacob & Joshua?
What’s a lesson you learned from Jacob & Joshua?
Share a story where Jacob & Joshua's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with Jacob & Joshua you’ll never forget.
How did Jacob & Joshua make you smile?