Birth date: Aug 6, 1959 Death date: Jul 28, 2010
Charles Dean Wagoner, 50, of Fredericksburg passed away Wednesday, July 28, 2010 at his home. He was the owner of AAA Cleaning Services Dean is survived by his wife, Sylvia; a daughter, Mallory Duckett of North Carolina; his mot Read Obituary
I Love You Still.
It;s coming up on a year, since God has call you home. I hope and pray that you're still fighting for me, I believe that you are. I'm gonna move on just as you asked me to. Not because I want to, not because I need to, but just because I have to. I'll never forget you, I can and will promise you that, but I have to finally find my way to let go. It's killing me not being able to be happy again and hope for forever on earth too. I look at our pictures and it almost kills me because I should have had it with you, but maybe if my job was to see you and love you through on your journey ahead, yours just might have been to teach me how to surrender to love, the way you did. Thank you for being there. I needed you perhaps more than you need me. I'll finally let you be the angel I know that you are. I won't say goodbye, but i will say i know that I will one day see you later.
Baby,
It's been a little while since I came here to let you know how I'm doing. Well I'm finally ready to move on with my life. I've decided that it's not a betrayal to you and us what we shared, what we had together if I move on. This is the hardest thing other than saying goodbye to you that I've had to do in my life, but I have to. I've gotten back into the dating scene even though I haven't had a date as of yet, but I'm open to the idea. Gosh, I truly thought we'd be together for life, forever, God had other plans. I miss your smile so much, I miss everything about you so much. I'm moving on though, it doesn't mean I won't think of you, it doesn't mean that I don't love you, it just means that I'm alive here and you're no longer with me here. I have to move on because if I don't I never will. You asked me practically begged me before you died not to live my life alone, I won't if it means this is the last way to honor your memory than I will move on like you wanted me to do. My hearts breaking , but it's something I have to do. I love you Dean, I'll never stop loving you, but I have to breathe, laugh, and try to love again.
Loving You Always!!!!!!!!!!!
Sylvia Moore-Wagoner
Other than God, You are my one true love
Everyone Mourns in their own way, but I keep coming back just hoping someone else that truly loved you as I do will write something. No one has and it's not because they don't care or maybe it is, but for me at least I know that I still do write what I feel. Not in hopes that someone will read if, but in knowing at least I'm still trying to reach you.
You have it with you
Hey Baby,
It's getting closer and closer to being a year since you left, and I find myself feeling like it's still the first minute of your passing. I've done practically everything humanly possible to find a way to move on, but I keep finding myself right back at the beginning. I guess there's just some things that you can never really get over. I have moments throughout the week were I think, hey maybe, just maybe I'm getting better or finding a way to cope. But then here it comes all over again. The pain of being without you, the vulnerability of feeling absolutely alone even when I'm in a crowded room. My friends have tried to help me to get from here to there, but I just can't seem to move forward without you. I've never hurt so bad in my entire life. I can't even begin to explain the pain in humanly terms, because the human vocabulary doesn't even have the words that come close to this kind of pain that I feel. It's not even depression, this knife cuts way deeper. It almost feels like someone has turned my insides out and all I can do is watch with each stroke they take as they cut me from vital organ to vital organ without anesthesia. It sounds terrible, but it feels even worse. And I still can't stop looking for you daily, just hoping that by miracles of miracles you'll come back. I thought that if I stopped writing to you or coming here every day I'd find a way to somehow accept what is what it is, but even that didn't work because every day I was reminded of how much I lost when you left. I just wish if only for an instance I could see your face again and feel your touch once more in this life not just in the forever after. You know Baby, I've had some laughter, but nothing close to what it was like when you were here. That laugh until you cry laugh, or that laugh until your'e gasping for air laugh. I really miss laughing like that. And every where I turn nothing comes close to you. Everything I see turns my stomach inside out because at the end of the day it's just not you.
Hi Baby,
I'm sitting here listening to some of the songs we loved so much. I swear I had a Dean moment today. I was in the big van, and listening to music and thought how did I end up in Virginia alone. The thought brought tears to my eyes, and then I got really, really, really mad. Even though I've had good moments lately I still have tremendously bad ones. I don't get it. It was both of our chance to start over and figure out what love really is. Well we did, but now there's a deep void within my heart, my soul, my being. And even though I know we will one day be together again, one day seems so very far away. I hope it's not, but I'm not in control. You know the funny thing is for all those people that refuse to believe in God I have to wonder why. He's the only one that had the best plan. Here I am, and there you are separated from each other just like it took so long for us to find each other. But there is a reason. Only God knew what might happen to our love for Him and each other had we been left here together. And to God Divorce is worse than death. So now I will be your wife forever. That's what i love so much about Him, He always has the best laid plan. He never makes mistakes. It's like me in CA. and you in VA. We still met and had it not have been for a second in time it would have never happened. I miss you always will until I get to run back into your arms again. First though I have to greet God and thank Him for loving us enough to let us experience love while still here on earth. God knows I love Him, but He also knows I love you too. There's no amount of time that will ever change that.
Love forever and than some,
Forever,
Your Loving Wife,
Sylvia Moore-Wagoner
